It’s only natural to hope that your first date with a new person will go well. After all, most people want to hope that they’ll come out of the encounter with a new friend or even something more. And it’s because of this hope that most people, whether intentionally or not, will often spend a lot of time on a first date subtly searching for signs about how well it’s going. They’ll be trying to determine whether or not they’re compatible with their date and, by extension, if it makes sense to keep seeing each other.
Of course, everyone wants to date people they’re likely to hit it off with, and there are also many ways to up your chances of finding a compatible partner. Asking friends to set you up, using dating apps, and even consulting a matchmaking agency in Malaysia can help you connect with other singles whose interests and personalities complement your own.
That having been said, it’s impossible to completely eliminate your chances of a date going sour. The best thing you can do is familiarise yourself with signs of incompatibility so you can move on from people who aren’t interested in you and spend more time with those who are. Here are five subtle signs that you and your date might not be the best match:
They Appear Distracted or Disengaged
Your first priority on a date should be getting to know the other person, especially if your date is someone you’re meeting for the first time or someone you haven’t had the opportunity to connect with one-on-one. If you and your date strike up a lively conversation without much effort, make frequent eye contact, and just generally find it easy and natural to pay attention to each other, those are all good signs. These signs of active engagement point to a genuine connection that you may want to nurture.
In contrast, if you or your date find yourself seeking distractions from each other, that’s a definite sign that your rapport with each other leaves something to be desired. Notice if they get on their phone often for reasons unrelated to your date, take frequent bathroom breaks, or even just zone out in the middle of your conversation. These signs probably mean that they aren’t feeling it and that it might be best to just call it a night as soon as you can.
You Don’t Have a Physical Connection
A big portion of human communication takes place nonverbally, so body language is a powerful indicator of whether someone is interested in you or enjoying your company. Someone who likes you and wants to be close to you will communicate this physically in perceptible ways, whether consciously or not. Examples of receptive body language, for example, include leaning forward, making extended eye contact or even touching your hand or arm gently during conversation. In contrast, avoiding eye contact or leaning away from you are sure signs your date just doesn’t feel that spark.
It’s Hard to Get a Conversation Going
A good conversation should feel like a lively back-and-forth between you and the other person, where you each get equal chances both to listen and to be heard. If your date prattles on and on about what’s going on in their lives without letting you talk about your own, it may be a sign that they don’t particularly want to know you as a person. The same goes for dates who don’t ask you any questions and instead respond to anything you share with blank stares or closed statements like, “That’s cool.”
On the other hand, it’s likewise not a good sign if your date is too quiet. While it’s normal for people to feel shy or have difficulty opening up on a first date, someone who genuinely likes you and enjoys your company will find something they’re happy to chat with you about eventually. If you find yourself inadvertently dominating the conversation and unable to coax them out of their shell, you’re probably better off seeing someone else.
They Don’t Hint at Wanting to See You Again
On a first date, it’s best to focus on getting to know the other person and enjoying their company before anything else. First dates are hardly an appropriate time for you to get caught up in thoughts of your future relationship, particularly in terms of more long-term arrangements like marriage. That said, you’ll definitely want to look out for indications that your date is interested in meeting up with you again, even if it’s just for a second dinner or round of drinks. It’s generally not a good sign if they don’t mention anything of the kind during your time together or seem reluctant to respond when you do.
Whatever happens, remember that it isn’t the end of the world if you and your date find that you aren’t all that into each other. The best thing you can do for each other in those instances is to part ways with no hard feelings instead of trying to force a connection. That way, you’ll have more time and energy to spend on connecting with people who are truly right for you.